A goblin's tale

((Zanick mentioned in her post about the last guild meeting that she got word from a goblin sailor about Snicka. But no goblin merchants are allowed on the island of Zandalar (if they go there, they risk that they get eaten), and albatross mail is much more romantic than goblin messengers, so here's the truth about what happened.))

"Yarr, I'm starving, m'lad!" yelled Captain Snurk Bizzkit. "Ya, mon... me mean, aye, cap'ton!" saluted First Mate Munga. The large troll picked up his blunderbuss, and rushed up to the decks, leaving his short and green-skinned captain alone in his cabin. "It's good to have Munga on my ship" thought Snurk. "He's not clever, but he' always knows what I need. I hope he shoots something nice for me... I could eat a whale!" He thought of the whale stew, that Gronk, the ship's ogre cook made for him a month ago, and felt his belly rumbling.
Suddenly Snurk heard a boom, and he walked out of the cabin to see what Munga got for him. A young sailor was climbing out of the water, and handed the wet and bloody corpse of a large white bird to the troll. "Ya be goo' boy, Jackie-mon!" said Munga, pulling one ear of the human boy.
"What have ye got fer dinner, Munga?" asked Captain Snurk. The troll examined the bird. It was certainly an albatross, but it was wearing a small leather cap, and two parchments were tied onto its legs. Munga examined the cap carefully. There was a crest on the top of it, depicting a snake twisted around a spear held by a three-fingered hand. The troll went pale and moaned: "Cap'ton, me did sum'thin bad! Me... me shot a messenger albatross of King Rastakhan!" "Why do ye care, m'lad?" said the goblin, surprised. "Since when did us, pirates care 'bout kings? Bring the bird to Gronk, I'm starving!" "You don' unda'stand it, cap'ton. Me did somethin' 'gainst da voodoo!" Munga was busy to explain. "Dis cap got strong mojo in it. If da bird cannot bring da letta' to da addressee, da ones who stop'd it gonna be hexed! Me, you, an' ev'ryone on dis ship! We mus' hand these letta's to da proper people."
Both letters were written on a leather parchment. One of them was adressed to "ZANICK", the other to "TORSCHKA". In Snurk's cabin, Munga opened the first one. It was written in Zandali, the ancient language of trolls. Although it was a long time since Munga used this language, he still understood a few words. He began to read it out loud for his captain.
"Dear Zanick,
I hope you be fine, an' doin' well as da leader of da Heritage. Me 'ave arrived to Zandalar jus' a day ago. I can't tell ya anythin' in Spirit Talk, because da priests o' Zanza defend deir island from intrudin' spirits by a strong voodoo shield. But King Rastakhan, His Name Be Blessed By Da Loa, allowed me to use one of these albatrosses.
Zandalar be a wonda'ful place. Da jungle be green an' lush, da waters be clear an' fresh, an' da snowy peak of Mount Mugamba be magnificent. An' you can feel da mojo in ev'ry branch of da trees, ev'ry pebble by da lakes. And in da city of Zuldazar, dere be trolls of ev'ry kind. Small purple-skinned ones from da deserts, bigga' green ones from da Hinterlands, an' even some large Ice Trolls from Northrend. An' dey don' fight each otha', but live in peace an' harmony... jus' like in our dreams.
I hope ev'ryone in da Heritage be fine, an' da threat dat Barzovia an' Shadowtroll mean, deir names be cursed for eternity, 'as been defeated.
The next ship from Zandalar to Durotar, which I come back wid, be likely to leave sixty days from today. Until dat, mojo may strengthen ya dagger an' protect ya from all da hexes!
Ya warlord an' friend, Snicka"
"Interesting." said Snurk. "Ye say, m'lad, that if we don't bring this to this Zanick, our ship will be hexed?" "Aye, cap'ton!" nodded Munga. "We mus' find dis Zanick in Durotar, an' hand 'er da letta'!" Captain Snurk Bizzkit nodded, but his stomach was now rumbling like a volcano, so he asked: "What about the albatross? Is it hexed too, or could we finally let Gronk make a nice soup out of it?"

Aaah! Dat makes more sense. No wonder da little goblin dat gave me the message looked so relieved to 'ave found me.

[Great story, Snicka.]

((After Snurk managed to find Zanick in Sen'jin Village, he decided to head deeper into Durotar, and deliver the other mail to Torschka, and get rid of the hex he got from eating Rastakhan's delivery albatross.))

Two figures stood in front of the gates of Orgrimmar. The taller one was wearing a long robe and a voodoo mask, and wielding a large staff; the shorter one was wearing a dark suit, hiding his eyes on his green face behind goggles.
"That's it, m'lad." said the short one. "The legendary city of Orgrimmar!"
"Aye, cap'ton!" replied the tall one.
"Sssh! Don't call me that!" said the short one. "Don't forget that we're in disguise now! I'm not Captain Snurk Bizzkit, but Mel Arivesquick, from the Undermine Delivery Service, and you, Munga, are Witch Doctor Eenza'neety!"
"I be unda'standin', cap't... me mean, mister Arivesquick." nodded Munga.
"We must not be recognized... there's bounty on our head... Witch Doctor!" added Snurk, which made his first mate gulp.

The wierd couple entered the city, and were absolutely stunned by the view. A swarm of people in all size and colour was not something the two pirates were used to. A large, half-naked orc was showing his muscles to a couple of giggling teenage blood elf girls on one side of the street, a band of trolls were sitting around smoking a pipe, and two sinister-looking undead, one with a tiny imp by his side, were discussing something under their breath. Snurk decided they should ask a grunt for directions.
"Excuse me, sir..." he begin. "Grrr?" grunted the orc. Snurk introduced themselves under the fake names he made up, and asked "Do you happen to know someone called Tros... Torch... Trotch..." "Torschka, cap't... mon." Munga corrected. The grunt let out another sound fitting his rank, and pointed at a purple-haired troll girl dancing atop a barrel, just in front of the bank. Munga gaped at her; he seldom saw such a beautiful troll. The goblin pulled his robe.

"Come, Witch Doctor! Let's deliver this mail, shall we?"

"Miss, I suppose you're the one called Torschka?" the goblin asked, and grinned with pride that he could pronounce the name correctly.
"Yeah, I be 'er..." said the troll, clearly surprised.
"We brought a mail for you, miss Torschka. It has come from Zandalar. Suddenly all albatrosses got ill, so Witch Doctor Eenza'neety asked me from the UDS, to deliver you this letter... isn't it right, Witch Doctor?"
"Wot... ah, ya, cap... mon" said Munga, distracted. "Close yer mouth!" whispered Snurk at Munga, angrily.
Torschka carefully opened the letter. As she noticed the handwriting, her eyes ran full of tears. She began reading:

My dear Torschka,
I have arrived to Zandalar yesterday. The large voodoo shield around the island does not stop my spirit to feel yours all the time. I really hope everything is all right with you.
The place is beautiful. The jungles are even more lush than the ones in Stranglethorn Vale, and the snowy peak of Mount Mugamba seems to reach the sky. The van'da flower blooms in this season, which is the same colour as your hair.
The citizens of Zuldazar are really friendly with me, I haven't met the hostility you can see in Zul'Aman or Zul'Gurub. You can meet trolls of any sort, short purple sand trolls, large green forest trolls, and even some of the really rare dark trolls. I think you would enjoy yourself in this city too.
I'll sail back to you as soon as possible; the next ship to Durotar will leave in sixty days.
I'm thinking of you all the time.
I love you.
Snicka

Torschka looked up from the letter, her eyes still wet. "T'ank ye..." she muttered. But the two figures were nowhere now.

"Stop sighing, m'lad, and get back to work!" Captain Snurk Bizzkit yelled at the troll. Back on the ship, he felt comfortable again. "Munga, what are ya? A pirate or a whiny elven child?" he added angrily. The troll saluted. "Aye, mon..." The goblin snapped at him. "Now ya can call me captain again!"

Captain it is !!!!

Nice story snicka