Lahni's Monologue Log.

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Lahni's Monologue Log.

Post  Lahni on Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:05 am

Lahni was awake. She couldn't tell by sight, she'd slept natural the night before, but the smell and the sound told her it was Morning. Last night was... eventuful. A small part of her wasn't entirely in the mood for the sex after it all... a small part.

Ryleen's wedding, a ray of sunshine in a life that seemed to be one large cloud. Lahni smiled, glad that everything went well for her.

Without me... it wouldn't have. That idiot Gen'jin would've ruined it for her! Snicka is back... doesn't mean much to me.. but it means something to her... and she deserved no trouble this day! And Gen'jin would've given her it!

Part of her didn't mind that idea, Gen'jin's rash action biting him back. But Ryleen needed this day. And perhaps Gen'jin may start to understand? A small show of force... the pebble that starts the landslide.

My attempt at warning him... a show of force. Honour. Something a Primal needs. Well, I've shown it damnit!

Bravery? I started it all! The challenge... Ryleen would have to choose in the end... she must have to. I need to prove myself further!

But how?

Razeal! He had been here... she slowed... he was a friend... no matter what he'd done...

He should pay me back! if I found him... learnt why he left! IF he doesn't want to come back... then he doesn't need to! Ryleen should know why! By my tongue! Through my lips!

... I should know.


Lahni lied back down from her upright position, cuddling close to Hadunka. Razeal can be found... ... she's glad for Hadunka to be here.

Euphrati... sorry...

Mother... I learn...

Lahni slipped back into sleep. A smile on her lips. One last thought on her mind before she slips back...

... Primal.


Last edited by Lahni on Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:20 am; edited 3 times in total

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Re: Lahni's Monologue Log.

Post  Lahni on Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:07 am

Also, I'm quite aware how much slipping between 1st and 3rd person happens. I slip a lot from an Omniscient Narrator, to Lahni herself. That was the intent of this. In a way, it's meant to show a little chaos... it's almost more of a peek into Lahni's mind.

The final two thoughts are meant to be fairly fractured. They're just as she is slipping into sleep... so blurred. Basic... and almost not making sense.

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Re: Lahni's Monologue Log.

Post  Kaz'jo on Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:11 am

Chaotic thoughts... so delicious.
A good piece of text. I want to see more of it!
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Re: Lahni's Monologue Log.

Post  Vypra on Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:16 am

just a small suggestion on my part...just for ease of reading, perhaps differentiate 'narrator' Lahni's parts from her internal thoughts by putting one lot in italics or something. May help those not as familiar with the language to get the concept Smile

Otherwise, nice read Smile

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Re: Lahni's Monologue Log.

Post  Lahni on Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:16 am

Amazingly... it's the same idea that Kaz just gave me on WoW... so I'm going to do it! Thanks you two.

There, all done. And sorted a small typo, that changed a particular sentence.

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Re: Lahni's Monologue Log.

Post  Kaz'jo on Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:18 am

Great minds think alike Razz
Are you planning another part of this, by the way?
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Re: Lahni's Monologue Log.

Post  Lahni on Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:40 am

Chances are. Yes. Maybe at 'important' moments. I enjoy doing this, so yeah, most likely! Very Happy

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Re: Lahni's Monologue Log.

Post  Euphrati on Wed Sep 22, 2010 1:06 am

nice done Smile

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Re: Lahni's Monologue Log.

Post  Ryleen on Wed Sep 22, 2010 1:20 am

This sounds.... interesting...
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Re: Lahni's Monologue Log.

Post  Lahni on Wed Sep 22, 2010 1:20 am

That sounds... omnious...

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Re: Lahni's Monologue Log.

Post  Hadunka on Wed Sep 22, 2010 1:35 am

*shifty ayes*

Yes ...
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Re: Lahni's Monologue Log.

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