Hai'Zan's Jokes

My uncle Hai'Zan, the village butcher in Sen'Jin, often tells me one of his jokes when I drop by to see him. I'll try to remember some of them . . .


One day a cunning old troll was hunting in Thousand Needles. He started stalking his prey and before long he discovered that he was lost. Wandering about, he noticed a centaur heading rapidly in his direction with a murderous look in its eye.

The old troll thought to himself, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep kodo poop now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching centaur. Just as the centaur was about to attack, the old troll exclaimed loudly, "Aaaah, dat was one delicious centaur! I wonder if dere are any more round here?"

Hearing this, the young centaur halted his attack in mid-leap, a look of terror came over him and he galloped back to his village. "Whew!", said the centaur, "That was close! That old troll nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a sneaky kobold who had been watching the whole scene from behind a nearby rock, figured he could put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the centaur. So, off he went, but the old troll saw him heading after the centaur with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The kobold soon caught up with the centaur, told him about the troll's trick and struck a deal for himself with the centaur. The young centaur was furious at being made a fool of and said, "Here, kobold, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that cheating troll!"

Now, the old troll saw the centaur coming with the kobold on his back and thought, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the troll sat down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hadn't seen them yet. When they got close enough to hear, the old troll said "Now where's dat damn kobold? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me anotha centaur!"


Moral of this story...
Don't mess with old trolls... Experience and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.

A Darkspear troll was walking along the beach when she discovered a small bottle. When she uncorked it, a genie came out and promised to grant her one wish.

She said, "Peace between the jungle troll tribes, dat's my wish." The genie looked concerned, then said "I'm sorry, that's beyond even my powers. Some things just can't be changed. Do you have another wish?"

The troll said 'Well...ever since I got married, I wanted my man to come 'ome early to be wiv me, instead o' spendin' his time drinkin' in da tavern."

The genie paused for another moment and then said "How would you define peace?"

*clap* Nice one

A clever troll once had a parrot that could speak perfectly in Orcish. So he took it to Orgrimmar during the Midsummer Fire Festival, confident of making some money.

As a crowd gathered for the celebrations he made a bet with everyone that the bird could say a prayer to the Sun better even than a Flamekeeper could. When the big moment came, though, the parrot refused to say a word.

The troll was red-faced with anger and embarrassment as the crowd laughed at him. He took the parrot home and was just about to kill it when the bird finally said: "Idiot! Think of the odds we’ll get at the Hallow's End Festival!"

Haha, nice joeks! The Centaur story gets 5/5 Shrunken heads, as well does the genie story, but sadly i dont quite understand the parrot story

I like all three I look forward to more.

More please

Uncle Hai'Zan told me anotha . . .


Last six-day morning I got up early, put some food in my pack for lunch, collected my fishing rod and bait and slipped quietly out of the hut. Just then there was a torrential rainstorm. The wind was blowing so hard it was bending the trees, and I could see from the clouds scudding in across the Great Sea that the weather would be bad all day.

So I went back into the hut, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my womon's back, now with a different thing on my mind, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

Here's anotha of Hai'Zan's jokes . . .


My womon and I travelled to Shadowprey village last week for a wedding, and I kept staring at a drunken womon swigging her drink as she sat alone nearby.

My wife asked me, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's used to be my girlfriend. She started drinking right after we split up many years ago, and I'm told she hasn't been sober since.'

'Vekk!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

Hahaha!
Hai'zan and 'is wo'mon isn't the happiest couple, it seems to me.